Posted by: mamaamy | March 13, 2008

Weaning Thoughts

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Hey girl,

Just a few quick notes in response:

If you are ready to wean E, you are free to. It takes a different training. With Moriah at nap time, I have trained her to go “Swingy”. We use her swing (it has no batteries and she would stop it even if it did, but the routine is, I give a little baba just after lunch, then it’s swingy time. I rock the swing and sing our little rock-a-bye song then I walk away. She eventually goes to sleep. If she fusses or cries, I say that it is nap time for little girls and that it is not acceptable that she cries about it. (Basically it is written in stone and there is no point arguing.) If she continues to cry or fuss, then she needs training. Now she rarely fusses and knows that swingy time means nap time. When we are not at home and without a swing, I still call it that and I give her a bit of baba, then rock her or hold her for a bit then she must lie down.

The weaning for me and Mo is looking like: I nurse her in the early morning, but when I am done, I say, “Ok, that’s enough, let’s go make breakfast.” Or “We’ll get some more baba at nap time.” Then I wait until naptime to give her more. She wants more sooner than naptime, but I keep saying, “you’ll get your baba at naptime.” Again it is limited to the other side for about 10 min. Finally, I nurse her again, maybe a little on both sides at bedtime. If she wants it earlier, I just say she must wait for bedtime. Then, after I nurse her (usually during story time) then she must go lie down on “her” / our bed. She may not yell for me or call out, she may sing quietly to herself, but she may not fuss or cry or disturb us. Again this is set in stone with no exceptions and now she is compliant almost every time.

When friends came out to visit, they were really frustrated that their boys were up until whenever…all evening till the parents decided to go to bed. We basically talked them through this process of training. They did it while they were here and were consistent, then continued once they got home and now it is the rule of the evening: the boys go to bed at their bedtime…not at the parent’s bedtime. The Mama is still nursing one boy but she nurses him in advance so she is not having to lie down with him at bedtime.

If you continue like I have–just limiting it to a few select times a day and keep it that way when F comes, say, “Big girls get baba at bedtime only” or whatever you decide is the select time, then stick with it, she’ll eventually get it that this is just how it is. She is learning how things are in the world as you show her. She has no idea what big girls do unless you teach her and train her. She will get it if that’s what Mama says and sticks to it.

Also, if you want to stop all together, then set a time frame and gradually work toward that, letting E know what is going to be expected. It is not selfish if you are ready. You have given her a great start by nursing as long as you have. Nursing two is not easy. You feel extremely bovine. It is a drain. If you want to do it, great, but if not, don’t feel bad. It may be best for you and F to give the baba to her only. E will just need a little training and maybe a new routine(ie. a song and a rock-a-bye, or a story from dada in bed then goodnight, or some kind of routine) and an expectation to get it in her mind what is required and what she can look forward to. In other words, exchange the baba for another comforting and nice routine.

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