Posted by: mamaamy | March 13, 2008

Potty Issues

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Have you ever had any trouble with pottying well after your kids were potty trained? A is missing some. It seems like most of it is either that he is sleeping really hard or just too “into” what he is doing to make it in time. I just am starting to be concerned their might be something medical.

His tonsils were swollen back in November, and he didn’t sleep well for about a month. At the end of that though, when he started sleeping better, and deeper, he wet the bed a few times. Actually, in the middle of about a 2 week period, where he wet the bed about 5 different times, he asked to sleep in his own room. He wet 3 times in our and twice after he moved over, spread out with days in between.

He has been fine until last week. We were at a friend’s house and he hadn’t peed before we left and he wet himself there. First time ever. Then at home two different days last week he pooped his pants in the bathroom before he could get up to the toilet.

He has always held it to the last minute and then run to the bathroom, without us ever having to ask, and he would go. I’m not completely concerned, thinking that he, after a year of being fine, is just getting too distracted. But I’m still a mom. His glands are a little swollen again, so he is doing fine, and his body is just fighting off things. His tonsils have never really gone down, but then, I never really noticed if they were ever down before last Nov. I don’t want to go to a doctor, because I’m sure he would say we need to remove them and who knows what else. I figure, God made his tonsils for a reason and if they are enlarged, they must be working and shouldn’t be taken out. I also have read the entire book that you recommended.

So, I have started going back to the beginning and being more vigilant about helping him remember to go, but I am just wondering what your experience is. My first thought was also psychological, so I asked him if he wanted back in our room. Right now he is ambivalent. I have also been doing so much better in the past several months about managing my anger and controlling myself, so I don’t really think that is there.

Last night he didn’t make it when we came home from dinner with family. Then he slept long this morning and I expected him to wet the bed from sleeping deep and he did. Then as I was just calmly helping him change pants and warming him up with a blanket to pat off the residue before getting new pants on, he was squatting and started wetting the floor. I said, “A, don’t” and then put something under him. That last one threw me and I called R a little bit later.

R says not to make a big deal out of it and it will go away. After today, he said he would talk to A when he gets home tonight. I didn’t have this much trouble when he was learning (course he was still wearing diapers) and it’s been over a year. He didn’t even do this when G was born.

Any suggestions.
Thank you for listening.
T 🙂


We think you are interpreting correctly: sleeping hard and distracted. It is very doubtful that it is medical and unlikely that it is psychological for the reasons that you stated. I think that you might rule out any rebellion. If you make a big deal out of it then he may try and test you for the reaction as a control or rebellious thing. If that were the case, I would suggest that you do a little training so that he understands that it is inappropriate to potty anywhere but in the toilet. If you don’t sense any of that, I can imagine that he is just fine ad that age and consciousness of his actions will end it. Older kids won’t do that out of embarrassment. To young kids it’s really not that much of a crisis.

Josh went through a time similar to this: He has a fast metabolism anyway, and then we went on a long camping trip and he was either too distracted or not sure where to go and I think he soiled his pants a bunch of times. The friend that was with us felt that I should spank him for it, but I didn’t sense any rebellion. He just was unclear on the camping concept (ie find a tree and use it). Anyway, it passed soon enough.

Make sure he is drinking a lot during the day (this will help him fight sickness also) and then I think you could monitor the intake of water (say no drinks after 7:00pm) and make sure he has pottied before bed.

Then if you know he is deep in play, ask him to join you to try to
potty. Sometimes they say, “I don’t have to” and I will say, “Just try anyway.” They always go. Unless it becomes the norm (as in daily) to soil his pants or bed, I think he is fine.

Hope this helps.

Thank you for your quick response. I guess there is still a bit of “first-time-mom” with A, and I guess always will be since he’s the first. I just really didn’t think we needed to go to a doctor, but was a little thrown by it all, since A trained so well just before G was born.

Thank you again!

T 🙂


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